Changes from Second Peer Review

   Originally, the main plot of my film opening went like this: A group of kids are going camping, get into the woods and get distracted, get lost and then the title. I though that this was a weak conflict, so this peer review session was very valuable to me. All of my peers agreed that the plot was weak, and need something to spice it up. After a short brainstorming session, I have decided to change the conflict. Now, the story goes like this: kids go camping, get into woods and set up their tent, then one kid pulls out a dropper with a mysterious substance and drops it into the water bottle. All the kids drink it, and then begin feeling loopy and pass out. I believe that this conflict is better for an opening as it sets up more of a plot, and has more of a twist than just getting lost in the woods. I have attached an updated script below.

Script v2